Author: mrsartis

And my streak is officially over.

I’m sore from my glorious 15-miler. I didn’t rest properly yesterday and now I’m still sore. Not like injured-sore, but like I-should’ve-known-my-limits-my-body-isn’t-thrilled-that-I-added-5-miles-in-2 weeks-I-need-to-effing-REST-sore. So much as it pains me, I’m sitting out for a day or two. I have my first half marathon of the season on Saturday and I don’t want to mess that up.

I’m not sorry about that run though. It was glorious. It was perfect. It reminded me how much I love running and why. I would do it again in a heartbeat (though I would rest the next day had I a re-do). And if I weren’t so dead set on PGH being my first full marathon, I would be searching for a fall one because I LOVED adding miles. It felt good. It felt right. And I can’t wait to push for the next longer run.

Working on trying to build a training plan for the month between JASR and PGH, while keeping the rest of my season’s plans, and future goals in mind. After my 15-miler this weekend, I’m hungry to build distance. If I weren’t dead set on my first full being PGH I’d probably be looking for a fall full marathon to train for. But alas, my love of Pittsburgh running prevails.

Puts me in an interesting place as far as training goes, however. I love distance and I want to build it, but I’m focusing on half marathons this year, and I’d love to see that PR time come down as the season progresses.

I’ll figure it out. 🙂

This sums it up for me. My love affair with running. Running is my safe place. The place I’m free of doubt. Free of fear. I don’t care what my body looks like, just about what it can do. I am my most true self, and I am truly happy. I really feel like I don’t choose to run, but that running chose me.

Last week I had a no-good-very-bad run. I set out for 12 and had to stop at 6 because I was literally crying. Emotionally, mentally, it just wasn’t happening. Life had crept it’s way into my sacred space, into my run. So I relaxed this week, took a step back, re-evaluated some things. I’d been nervous about a long run since my breakdown, but with a race next weekend I needed to get some more distance in there. So mid-week, when a friend invited me along for his Saturday 15-mile training run, I accepted.

And it was perfect. PERFECT. The weather was perfect. My playlist (on shuffle) was spot on. I was happy. I was relaxed. I smiled almost the entire time. I’d never done 15 before, but it just felt good. I kept pushing pace and having to slow to let my friend catch up (I wasn’t trying to, I wasn’t trying to do anything other than the distance, but it just felt soooo good I couldn’t help it). And I needed that so much. I needed to have my safe place back. And I do.

Good day so far…
…rocking some skinny pants and my killer red heels. Friend comments that I have such cute pants. Kohls juniors clearance I tell her. Looks at me again and says ‘your hips and ass are smaller than mine. You suck!’
…Sexy Express Guy that I gave my number to is filling in today & tomorrow unexpectedly. And it wasn’t awkward.
…tried on the bikini as its been awhile. Still some work to do, but definite progress. I actually look halfway decent.

Why is it not sandal weather yet?! I need to get some new sandals, but I’m dying to run around sans socks. Blah!

Goals for the week:
Run every day (March Run Everyday Challenge)
Cross train x3
Drink water
Eat enough (I haven’t been. I nee to work on that)
Track food (to make sure I’m doing the above)

Had a HUGE word vomit post processing everything I’ve been working through this weekend, but Tumblr ate it. Just as well.

In summary: body image bullshit, shitty run, “Feel the fear, do it ANYWAY.”

It’s a new week. Moving on.

Admittedly I’m really struggling with my body image lately, but every now and then I get these moments of clarity…like this morning when I was walking into work, and I caught my reflection in the glass. I had a moment where I wondered whose legs those were in the tight skinny pants–and realized they were mine. 🙂