Author: mrsartis

Starting this Monday tired but happy. My big boy cat was exceptionally needy last night and kept waking me up…so…tired…but I’ll manage. On the happy side, I’m finally starting to see my own progress, a friend noticed over the weekend, and I had a really solid 5 mile run yesterday. All good things to start the new week. As far as the run goes, I pushed my intervals, I pushed pace (a little). I finished about 2 minutes faster than the last time I did 5 miles. It felt really good. Plan is to get 5k in after work, then squats, ITB rehab, and core work.  Gearing up to head to Ohio this coming weekend for a friend’s baby shower.  And starting to think about and plan for our getaway to Erie in a couple of weeks.

I can’t wait to start building some mileage. I’m starting to feel more confident, and like my running legs are coming back. I may not always be able to run when I want to, but when I do run I feel like they are good quality runs. I made the difficult decision to cut back to one kettlebell class per week as well. I like it and I’ll miss my second day, but right now I need to be able to run more, and that second day is hindering that. I can never guarantee that I’ll be able to run the day after class–so 2 classes means potentially 4 days I can’t run. No bueno. I’m optimistic that I can return to 2 classes per week at some point when my fitness improves, but running is my first love and I need to be true to that (and myself in the process). And I’m looking forward to running in Ohio this weekend–I plan to hit my favorite park for my long run and probably just the neighborhood for the other one. Either way, the change of scenery will be great.

Have a good week, all. Go do something you love.

I gotta admit–It’s been a tough week for workouts. Runs have not gone as expected. I’ve been exhausted. It’s been rough. But I’m having a good week on the scale–down another 2.5 pounds, which is awesome and puts me at 14 pounds total.

I’m at a point in my life where I can legitimately say that the scale is a tool. I’m no longer defined by the number I see, which is a major change from years past. I do weigh myself daily as a means of focusing me–I seriously don’t get overwhelmed or upset by fluctuations. It happens. It’s supposed to. That’s why I track progress on a weekly basis. And if I looked the way I want to look, felt the way I want to feel, and performed the way I want to perform I wouldn’t care what the number is. However, from past experience, I know there is a correlation between those three important factors and the number on the scale–and that’s why I care. I don’t believe it’s the be-all end-all of health measurement. I believe you can be beautiful and should love yourself regardless of the number or your size–it is much easier to make good decisions coming from a place of self-love than one of self-hate (speaking from experience here).

Big goals, big plans, lots to accomplish and some great forward momentum right now. Not expecting much from the scale next week (I tend to have a big week then a low week) but hopefully my workouts will improve. Glad it’s finally the weekend and I can have some downtime. New month on the horizon and I need to get my goals and plans in order. Happy Friday!

I’m usually sunshine and roses on the blog–and to be fair, I’m mostly that way in life. It’s not an act. But I do have bad days, and I struggled with putting this out there. But hey, maybe it will be helpful to someone else who is having a bad day. So there’s that.

Monday was great…until I tried to go for a run. The goal was simple: my now standard 5k after work. It was hot and muggy, but despite my husband’s complaints, it didn’t feel awful to me. Certainly not discernibly different from all the other times I’ve run in the heat and humidity after work. Work was fine, I had my snack, I took an ibuprofen to dull the muscle ache so I could get through my workout. Normal. I changed my clothes, drove to the park, warmed up, and got started. And within the first half-mile I knew 5k shouldn’t happen. Despite the dose of IB my hip and IT bands were letting me know it wasn’t cool and they needed a break. So I finished the mile, mostly walking. Normally, I’m okay with this. It’s a process, progress is progress, blah blah blah. Monday, however, I was pissed. PISSED. I was beyond irritated that I couldn’t just run three days in a row. I was asking my body for 10 miles over 3 days, I feel like I should’ve been able to manage that. And the fact that my body just wasn’t ready to do that brought up every single negative thought and feeling I’ve ever had in my life. I couldn’t do something simple, that I felt I should have been able to do, and I felt so weak, and out of control. In that moment all of my work, all of my progress so far meant nothing because I couldn’t get through that run. I went home, I finished my workout, and I fought with my husband over stupid things because I was just pissed and in the mood to be pissed. The negativity inside me was so overwhelming that anger was the only emotion I could safely access.

I bounced around the house, getting done what I needed to get done, apologized to my husband (who quickly realized this wasn’t about him, even though I couldn’t exactly tell him what it was about because at that moment I couldn’t articulate it) and went to bed. I was exhausted. And I slept hard. I actually slept through my first alarm completely, waking up just moments before my second alarm was set to go off. That never happens. And I wish I could say that sleep: the human reset button, had worked. Usually it does. This time it didn’t. I was only marginally better in the morning. I was less angry, to be sure, but I was still irritated and in a negative place emotionally. I got myself ready for work, minor irritations and annoyances seemed to fill my morning. And then I got to work. And realized my gym bag was at home. Too late to go back and get it. I couldn’t ask my husband to waste 2 hours in traffic later in the day just to bring it to me. Nowhere nearby that I could get all the things I would need to cobble together an outfit for class, let alone no money or time for that. So I had to cancel. And for awhile I was pissed about that. And then I accepted that the universe was sending me a sign–I need to rest. I need to ease up on my body a bit. Give it a break. When I accepted that, I calmed down. Last night I took a short easy walk with my husband for some active recovery (because I couldn’t just not do anything), and today I’ll try running again after work.

Moral of the story–bad days happen. To all of us. It’s not all kittens and rainbows. But you keep going and persevere. Take the signs that the universe is sending. Adjust your sails and move on.

This was a really good weekend. I had a race on Saturday morning and that was so-so, at least until I was able to step back and look at it objectively. It was a 5k on roads in a local park (because no trail for this girl), and I tore out waaaaaaaay too fast. For the first full 5 minutes I was running in the low 10-minute mile pace range (normally I run 11:30-12:00 minute mile paces, and I average in the 13s when you factor in walk breaks, at least right now). It felt really good, so good I didn’t realize I was doing it at first, and then I kind of fell apart–it was hard to find my rhythm after that. I didn’t expect much, but I did my best to get through the race and find some kind of rhythm. And I was pleasantly surprised–I finished faster than I expected to based on the halfway point. Still I was a little discouraged until I compared it to the average pace from the last 2 5ks I ran in town. Not my best 5k, but definitely not my worst. And I’m learning that I actually don’t mind the distance. I always used to say I hated it, but these days it’s becoming kind of fun. I still can’t wait to get my mid-distance game back, that’s my favorite.

I ran again yesterday, my 4 mile ‘long’ run, and that also went well. I felt good, my pace was steady and my average pace was slightly faster than it had been for the 5k, even with an extra mile. Progress is being made, I’m getting stronger with every run and getting my groove back. I’m registered for my August race, the Gold Jacket Hall of Fame 5k, and I get awesome bling for it, so I’m pretty pumped. With a few more weeks, I’m hoping to see some more improvement in my time.

Yesterday afternoon we made a whirlwind trip to Ohio for a family gathering. I was honestly on the fence about going, but I am so glad we went. I had a great time meeting and seeing cousins, and appreciating the fact that sarcasm is a way of life in my family. I think we got it from my grandma–the whole Gardner clan seems to be that way. It was a lot of fun.

And now another week begins…

It’s been a solid week overall. Down another pound which makes me happy, still on target for my goal. Running is progressing, I’m still frustrated by the mind-body disconnect I’m experiencing and that I’m not progressing as quickly as I’d like, but I’m getting there. I’m getting stronger every run. All my post-work short runs will now be 5k–no more pissing around with 1-2 miles. 5k used to be my standard short run, so that standard is being reinstated. I’ve been able to run back to back days, and even the day after class (which I know will not always be the case). Making some difficult decisions about training and what needs to happen. Getting really excited about racing, signed up for my goal race, and I have a whole list of other races I want to sign up for this late summer/fall season. Relentless forward motion.

I feel a big post coming on soon about everything. I feel like I need to dissect my love affair with running. It’s still brewing in my head but it will need to come out soon. I have a lot of time to think and process and reflect between my runs and my commute, it’s almost time to get it on paper (or the internet).

Busy weekend ahead. Racing tomorrow, normal weekendy stuff, then an afternoon trip to Ohio on Sunday for a family reunion/picnic. Planning to get a run in on Sunday morning too since the race is only 5k, I should be able to get back to back runs in.

One more day at work then time to get this party started.

Because I’m a sucker for alliterative post titles and I’m just having kind of a blah week. Not happy with my mid-week weigh-in, everything is feeling like work this week except oddly enough my workouts, which have been my saving grace and what gets me through the day. Feeling good enough after last night’s class that I’m going to attempt a run after work.

I’m really struggling with the fact that my mental and physical are so out of sync right now. I want to run every day. Every day. The desire is there. Physically I just can’t do it yet. And it’s incredibly frustrating. And often the most I can get through on a weeknight is 1-2 miles, and I’m missing the days when I could do 5-10 k (3-6 miles) after work without thinking twice. I’m finding more and more races I want to do, which is fun, instead of agonizing over what I’m going to do this month because I need a race for the month. I’m staying in it, I’m working through the frustration, trying very hard to stay patient with the process–I didn’t get here overnight, I won’t get back overnight. And I’m listening to my body and resting when it says to rest or holding back when I shouldn’t push, but it’s frustrating because it’s slower going than I want it to be. And on weeks when the progress is slow or nil it gets hard to trust the process and the journey.

I won’t give up. I still have my eyes on the prize, and I know I’m building toward something bigger and Rome wasn’t built in a day, blah blah blah. I’m staying the course, even when the course kinda sucks. I know what I need to do and what it takes, so I’ll keep doing it. Hopefully the good workout trend will continue and redeem this week for me. Race on Saturday, my first one since I’ve been back at it and not just going through the motions. Not gonna lie, I’m a little excited about it. I don’t race-race, I really just run (though I might push a little harder since I’m being timed), but it’s an atmosphere thing. Really looking forward to my fall racing season–I loathe running in the summer. Which tells you how much I must love running to rekindle my love affair with it during the months when it sucks the most for me (and I know that’s another factor in my slower comeback–the heat and humidity sap my energy faster).

 

I had a great run on Saturday. I was supposed to do 3 miles, but husband wanted to go to the park as he’s started running again too, so I decided I’d give 5 a shot (the loop around the lake is 5 miles) figuring that worst case scenario I’d run 3 miles and walk the other 2 back to the car. But I managed to maintain my intervals for the whole 5 miles, and the way it worked out I ended up running on most of the uphill sections. It was awesome. It was the best I’d done and felt on that course in quite awhile. No IT pain, hip was a little goofy on my walk intervals, but fine when I was running. I desperately wanted to get a couple of miles in yesterday too, but I could tell when I woke up that it would be a bad idea, so I didn’t go. Hubby and I went for a walk after dinner last night, but it wasn’t the same. I was admittedly a little mopey and off because I wanted to run and I couldn’t. It frustrates me to no end that I can’t just run whenever I want to. I’m confident that I’ll get back to that point, but mentally I’m already there and my body isn’t catching up as quickly as I want it to. But I keep pressing on because…

Already looking forward to my post-work sweat session today and my race of the month on Saturday. I haven’t participated in a race since I’ve been really running again, and my MO is not to race-race, my goal has always been to finish and have a good time, but I’m interested to see how it goes when I’m actually trying and running, even if I’m not ‘racing’. Full steam ahead towards my goals, I tell you. Not even rest days can stop me.

Good solid week. Down 3 pounds which makes 10 total, which I’m thrilled with. Running is coming along, sometimes faster than I expect, other times not as fast as I hope for. Ebbs and flows, like life. Trying to exercise patience and grace with myself–mentally I’m so back in the game I have to remind myself that my body needs a little more time to catch up.

So I’m a podcast junkie, and my newest obsession is The Life Coach School with Brooke Castillo. Brilliant show. This week she talked about the tools of life coaching (or just dealing in general for those of us who aren’t life coaches but are trying to better themselves), and one of them really super resonated with me: Emotional Adulthood–which is simply recognizing that our thoughts create our feelings, and since we can control our thoughts, we can control our feelings. Like the famous Eleanor Roosevelt quote–“no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”–when you accept that you control it, you’re in a position of power. I had a big mindset epiphany at the beginning of the week and the podcast yesterday helped me nail it down–see yourself as victorious. Visualize the outcome you want, see yourself in that position, and act in accordance. Don’t frame the process in terms “I want to” and “I will,” frame the process in terms of “I AM.”  Framing my actions in terms of “I am doing this” gives me control and puts me in a place where nothing can stop me. Wanting does not necessarily inspire action, saying you will doesn’t mean you will, but putting it into present and active terms–I AM–puts you in the thick of it and makes the steps to take a little clearer (at least for me). I’m less likely to make poor food choices, or skip a workout because those things would be incongruous with the process that I AM in the midst of. It’s done amazing things for keeping me positive (though I was admittedly already pretty positive about this process).

Happy weekend, friends.

Today is my rest day. Now that the 10,000 swing challenge is over I can actually work a couple of rest days into my schedule and that’s a good thing. My body needs the recovery time because I’m pushing myself harder than I have for awhile. And I absolutely love it. I love it so much that I’m struggling hard core with having a rest day–I don’t want to rest, I want to run! But all things need to be balanced and I know that if I tried to run today it would just be frustrating, and shorter than I want. And I also know that there are things I need to do around my house so tonight will be a good mid-week opportunity to get some stuff sorted out and taken care of–and I can prepare to have a solid run and workout tomorrow after work.

I’ve missed this feeling so much. I’ve missed *wanting* to run and dreading my rest days. And I’m super proud of my efforts in class last night–in three rounds of strict presses (using only your arms to muscle through, no legs to help) I used the 14 kg bell for the first round and the 12 kg bell for the subsequent rounds. A month ago I wouldn’t have even tried to use the 14. I probably would’ve stuck with the 10. And to be fair, I have in the past done something similar using the 16 kg bell for the whole set, but that’s been awhile, and I’m just happy to be making progress again.

Happy hump day, friends. Rest if you need it.

Last week was rough, and I’m having a difficult time juggling KB and running. But this weekend I finished the 10,000 swing challenge, so that’s one hurdle that’s been removed, now I just have to see how much I can run around my twice weekly classes. I’m just so happy to be able to run more often and longer. My weekday runs will not be long 20-45 minutes mostly, with a longer run on the weekend. And yesterday morning’s run was awesome. I pushed myself far more than I have yet and it felt good, and I realized it’s all coming back to me and faster than I had anticipated. And I realized I can push myself more than I thought. I ran the new Hulton bridge for the first time, it was so cool. I miss the old one but the new one is nice. Didn’t get any pictures, but I’ll take some another day when I go out. The weather was perfect too. Not as humid as it’s been, a little overcast, not too hot. The rest of my workout was solid as well. Life is just so much better when I’m running more. I’m more balanced, happier, I sleep a little better, I’m less scattered mentally. It’s just better. I’m just better.

On tap this week I’m shooting for 2-3 weekday runs (depending on what I’m able to do around KB classes–sometimes I’m just too depleted or sore from class to run the next day) followed by ITB Rehab and core work, and two KB classes. I’m also starting a 30 day squat challenge because 1) I love squats, 2) I like having some kind of ‘challenge’ in my life, and 3) the hips and glutes are the key areas to focus on to help/prevent IT band issues, so I will do anything I can to keep myself running (since that was part of the problem the first time around). Still need to decide on July and August races, and get registered for my November goal race.

And I’m already looking forward to my run after work tonight…