I did my long run for the week on Saturday. It was hot and miserable. I should have planned for Sunday when the weather was supposed to be better (and was) but I knew I wanted to go to church on Sunday for the ingathering ceremony, so I set out on Saturday morning. I didn’t get started as early as I had deluded myself that I would, but it wasn’t late. Traffic was a nightmare on my way to the Waterfront–the people who weren’t already in town tailgating for the Pitt/Penn State game were now on their way. I got to the Waterfront–finally–and got myself ready to head out.
It started off good. Really good. I got into a nice rhythm, I was moving along, it felt good. I had 9 miles on the training schedule and it seemed all would go well. Miles 1, 2, 3 flew by without much thought. Started to get tougher around mile 4. By mile 5 I had completely fallen apart. I lost my rhythm and couldn’t get it back. I had a brief moment of recovery–a song came on the playlist that perked me up–but I fell apart again soon after. I ended up walking most of the last 3 miles back to the car. Nine miles done, but not the 9 I’d wanted or hoped for. Not the 9 I’d needed to feel confident about my upcoming race.
I blame the weather in part. It was pretty awful to be doing distance. I should’ve gone earlier or planned better so I could do it Sunday. But you don’t always have the weather you want for races, so I’m also keen on making myself work with sub-optimal conditions. If I only ran in weather I liked I wouldn’t run all summer. More than anything I think I was projecting too much onto the run. I wanted it and needed it to be too much. Running isn’t just an activity in my life–it’s a relationship. And like any relationship, if you expect too much, if you don’t give enough, you’ll be disappointed. More than the weather, something was off balance on Saturday’s run. I couldn’t get out of my head enough to just let it be what it was. And that’s part of the magic for me…I can go out with a planned number of miles, but after that I have to get out of the way and let it be what it is.
So Saturday did not go as planned. Yesterday I was not supposed to run, I was supposed to do my active recovery workout. But after church, the weather was just too nice and I felt good, so I went out for an easy 5k and it was excellent. Really happy with my push and pacing. Cleared my head in the way that I needed. I let it be what it was and got out of my own way.
I have races the next two weekends so no long run redemption for a couple of weeks, but I’m looking forward to it when it happens.