Title courtesy of the best tumblr I just recently found: Unfuck Your Habitat.
As I’m rapidly approaching 30 (with gusto, I might add) I’m taking stock of who I am, what I want, etc. And I’m happy with a lot of my life. But I’m not where I want to be in all regards of it, and there is no one but myself to blame for these things.
I’ve been in a period of deep contemplation lately, largely about my weight, habits, etc. I’ve been struggling with my body/body image for almost 20 years. Twenty.Years. And I’m sick of it. I do really well for awhile, then I slack off. I get close to my goal, and then I just stop. And it’s not that I can’t do it, it’s that on an unconscious level, I get scared off. I’ve never been thin. I’ve been close, but I’ve never quite gotten there. I don’t know who I am if I’m not overweight. I don’t know what I look like. I don’t know how people will treat me. And ultimately, it shouldn’t be that different from when I’m close, but it freaks me out a little. And I’ve also had a hard time just accepting the fact that I am a compulsive overeater. I mean, I do eat emotionally, but most of the time boredom and the fact it tastes good are the culprits. I can ignore the ice cream in the freezer–unless I have a taste. Once I taste it, I want to finish the container–regardless how big it is. Even if it is a flavor that isn’t my favorite. This is a fact I need to accept. I have to accept that I can’t just eat like someone who doesn’t have weight issues. I will always have to be conscious about what I’m eating, how much I’m eating, etc. Moderation does not come naturally to me and I need to keep that in mind and just do what I need to do and not worry about what anyone else might be thinking about me or my choices (something else that has always hindered me).
This is the year I unfuck my life. All aspects. My health and fitness, my finances, my personal life. I’ve frequently said that I’ve been 30 in my head for years and I’m finally catching up to myself. 30 is going to be a brilliant year for me, it’s going to be my best year yet.
So what does unfucking my life look like? Here’s my list so far:
- get to my goal weight of 130 and do what it takes to stay there.
- run a sub 3:00:00 half marathon.
- actually use the health insurance I’m paying for to get a full physical (something I’ve been putting off).
- launch and develop my grant writing business.
- pay off at least one of my credit cards and get my debt under control.
- come up with a schedule that to make the best use of my time.
A la Jillian Michaels, I have more detailed lists of how to accomplish these things, but I don’t think I need to bore Tumblr with the gory details of how (unless you want them, then ask and I’ll share) but I know that accountability will set me free. I know that putting this out there will help me. Expect a monthly progress report, weekly schedules, and training logs.
It’s on. Bring it.