Wow, hard to believe it’s only been a week. A week since the conversation that got me to pull my head out of my rear and get myself together. I feel great, still trying to re-navigate macros and what I need to eat when to properly fuel my workouts. I’ve been working hard and happy about it. Wednesday I had the best run I’ve had in about 2 years, then yesterday I could barely get through a mile, but realizing that I haven’t had a proper rest day in over a week, I called it good. So there was just that yesterday, just swings today, and then I’ll hit both again on Saturday. I’m starting to feel like myself again. I have goals–big ones (more about that in a minute), I’m motivated, and when I’m stressed at work I’m craving a run instead of carbs. It’s pretty great.
Scale says I’m down 7 lbs, which is great but hey, it’s week one back on the wagon so it’s mostly water. Whatever, I’ll take it. The scale is a tool I’m using to keep me focused and on track, and yes I have a weight goal that I’m going for, but more than anything I want to get back to the size that I was when I was at my peak. I still have some clothes that I miss and want to be able to wear again. And a goal without a deadline is a dream, so I set myself a deadline–December 31. I want to go into next year looking and feeling my absolute best. And it’s possible and realistic with hard work and discipline–less than a pound and a half a week math wise from this point on out (and that’s to hit the lower end of my ‘goal range’). I also have a big running goal–and this I actually find more daunting. One of my favorite city races is in November–the EQT Pittsburgh 10-miler. Last year it took me 2:25:55. MY PR for that same race is 1:55:29. My goal for this year is to get back under 2 hours. It’s going to take a lot of work to get there, I’m worried that my IT Bands aren’t going to hold up when I start adding more distance, but if they start to fail me I’ll go to PT or whatever I need to do to make this happen.
It feels so good to have goals and a plan again. To have momentum. To want something. To not be aimless. And I’m obsessed with planning and listing anyway (more about that in a post coming soon). Just for a moment though–that run on Wednesday was glorious. It wasn’t long, it wasn’t fast, but the weather was perfect, work had been stressful and I needed the release, I pushed myself harder than I have in a long time, and after the crappy workout I had on Tuesday (when I literally walked out of the gym at one point because I was so frustrated) I needed something good. And I got it. Any runner will tell you that those amazing runs are few and far between–most runs are just fine, but not spectacular–but they are what get you through the worst runs. They are what keep you going out there again and again even when you don’t really want to. You are forever chasing that high and to be rewarded with it is something you don’t take for granted. I’ve missed that feeling, I’m glad to have the reminder.