So here we are at the end of 2019, on the cusp on not only a new year, but a new decade. Damn, time really flies. This has been a really interesting year for me–full of personal highs and lows, and overall it’s been a real time for deep soul searching and reflection. Figuring out what I want and need, what I really want to–and should–be doing with my life. Figuring out a new direction for myself in the wake of some personal…issues. I won’t call them tragedies–they aren’t–and I can’t really call them setbacks, because while they might appear that way from the outside, I do firmly believe that things happened how they were supposed to. I needed the negative events to propel me forward or I would have stayed in the holding pattern–and that is no way to live life. There are multiple things at play, but the most significant of which at this moment is finding myself without a job–and realizing how incredibly unhappy I was in the position I was in. It wasn’t what I hoped it would be, and I wasn’t who they hoped I would be in the position. But I couldn’t admit that I was unhappy. So while it was certainly a blow to the ego, it forced me to take a real hard look at my life and the direction I was headed and to figure out what I want going forward. And I’ve made missteps, even in the journey of figuring it out, but I’m finally confident that I’m heading in the right direction.
Running and the things related to it are my passion. It’s the thing that I love. It’s what most of my waking hours revolve around. Even when I’m not running, I like to learn about it and talk about it, do things that will better me for the sport. While going pro is not really in the cards for me, I do want to follow this passion of mine. As of December 17, I am officially a RRCA certified running coach, and I am working to officially launch my business and website in the next couple of months (that said, I would love to help people in the meantime, so if you’re looking for a coach or advice on getting started with running, PLEASE reach out to me: [email protected]).
I have had my personal training certification since 2015, and while I keep it up to date, I have not actually been in the training world, using my knowledge mostly for my own benefit (and the occasional internet smackdown…). The fact is that I don’t love strength training–I just don’t. I don’t love lifting weights. I love the results. I love the impact it has on my running-and that’s why I do it. Recently I’ve discovered that I love creating workouts though, finding the right balance of push/pull, upper and lower, cardio intervals, etc. to keep it interesting and challenging. I want to pursue my group fitness certification so I can teach classes–because I know that classes have made such a huge difference for me, and I know far too many runners who get trapped in only running, which can be detrimental to their sport (I have experienced that first hand with overuse injuries before I added strength training elements). Running and fitness have been my passion for years–and I’m FINALLY going to pursue making them my life.
Going this direction feels right for me. I truly am passionate about running and the transformative power it can have on a person’s life–far beyond any physical changes (which are not guaranteed–runners come in ALL shapes and sizes), the effects it can have on you as a person–confidence, discipline, focus, building integrity momentum…and many other things. I want to help others experience these things, meet their own goals, and perhaps even exceed their own expectations.
As far as my own training goes I have just one big goal for 2020–to get my 100-mile buckle at Burning River. After insisting that I was NOT going to do BR as my first hundred, I couldn’t get that little voice saying “front 50 followed by the back 50” out of my head (thanks, Lori). So that’s what I’m doing. There will be other races and events along the way, but the only thing I’m training for, the only real goal, is finishing BR100 upright and before the cutoff. I’m both confident and terrified, which I think is appropriate for a big undertaking like this. I told my coach (yes, I’m still working with a coach!) that I am not to harbor any delusions of fall goal races. This fall will be about recovering and figuring out what I want to do next and building other things–I love the grind of training but I get burnt out and while a fall race sounds amazing on the adrenaline and endorphin high of spring training, I’m questioning my life choices long before I get to race day.
There are some other things in the works, of course, and other transitions that will take place. I’ll talk more about those things as they develop and come to fruition, but the biggest things on the horizon are by far my training for BR and my coaching endeavors.
I’d love to hear it–what are your big, scary goals for 2020? What are you chasing?
Wishing you all a safe and happy New Year, more soon.