Month: January 2017

Transformations…

When I was looking up race times for my last post I encountered the photos from last year’s First Day 5k. I shared them on social media on Tuesday, but there was far more to say than I could fit in an Instagram caption. I had a LOT of feelings when I first saw the pics and compared them to the ones from this year.

Not all of them good. My first reaction was admittedly not ‘wow’ and feelings of pride in how far I’ve come. I don’t remember being that big, for one, I was surprised when I saw the pictures. But I do remember how unhappy I was–not so much in or with my body, but just in general. I’m definitely someone who eats their feelings so periods of my life where I’m heavier are generally periods where I am struggling to deal. I was also just running races for the sake of running races at that point. I had fallen out of love with running and it would be another 6 months or so before I started to love it again. The second thought was still not ‘wow’, but more disbelief. ‘Sure, I look good in comparison, but…’ was my reaction as I was very much still spinning my wheels about the progress frustration I’d discussed the Focus entry. Yeah, I look good in comparison, but I’m still not where I think I should be. And that’s very much the headspace I was in when I posted it on Tuesday. I didn’t post it right away, and I was a little uncomfortable when I did. The nag at the back of my head wasn’t ready for compliments and way to go’s, her response was ‘yeah, but…’ and I think that’s what came through in the caption. Still, a part of me knew that I needed to put it out there, so I did.

Today the universe forced my hand–I woke up with pink eye and had to call off of work. Not what I wanted at all, my workaholic side was pretty pissed in fact, and if working from home was an option I would have been doing so today. Which is why the universe forced my hand and made me take a break. I did stuff around the house, went to the doc and the pharmacy (obviously), and I’ll be getting my Insanity workout in because I’m fine besides my eyeball, but I also took a nap and took advantage of the unexpected down time to try on some old clothes. Like I said in my Focus post–I feel tighter and leaner despite the scale and so I needed to see if there was any progress that I could actually see for myself. I didn’t have my hopes up, I wasn’t expecting much of anything, and maybe that’s why I got a pleasant surprise. Most of the things that I haven’t been able to wear for a couple of years were still tight the last time I tried them on. But today way more of them fit than I expected. Not everything, but a lot of things. And I was kind of floored by it.

I wore these shorts on my first date with my now husband. Pretty sure that was the last time I wore them. I’m still about 10 pounds heavier than I was then so I couldn’t believe that they fit. Husband pointed out that I’ve put on a lot of muscle since then. And it finally clicked. My composition is shifting, so I’m heavier but smaller all at the same time. Duh. Still a work in progress–I’m by no means where I want to be, I’m still chasing my optimal racing ‘weight’, though I realized that I need to focus less on the scale and more on other means of measurement as it’s going to be skewed at this point. It also means that in order to progress I need to really tweak my diet because I’m closer to my ‘goal weight’ than I previously believed so I have to strike a more careful balance.

But more important to me in this moment is that for the first time in months I can see progress, and I feel really good about it. (And really disappointed it’s January and too cold to wear most of my reclaimed clothes…)

Happy weekend, friends.

Race Recaps…

So to jump right back in…I’ve done three races in basically as many weeks. So here’s a brief rundown of the events. I ended 2016 with a bang by doing the Harmony Silvester 5k on 12/31 where I managed to eek out a PR for the end of the year–33:04, a little over a minute faster than my previous 5k PR and a great place to end the year. It’s a nice race, rolling course, which is my favorite (I never seem to do as well on flat courses), decent number of participants. Having run in Harmony before, I’ve definitely encountered worse hills on other courses (looking at you Shamrock Shuffle Half Marathon). The race goes by gun time, which makes me even happier with my time. Overall a great event, and one I would definitely go back to.

Then on New Year’s Day we started off right with the First Day 5k. Not a gently rolling course, but a hilly beast that has kicked my butt now two years in a row. Finished two minutes slower than the Harmony race the day before, which I’m remarkably okay with as it was a solid 7 minutes faster than I did the same race and course the previous year, so I couldn’t be upset. It’s a tough course. I always underestimate the hills and end up walking (which, while there’s no shame in it, pisses me off a little). So hill work it is. Because if I hadn’t walked, I probably would’ve PR’d on that course, and now I want to do that. First goal for 2018, boom.

Last weekend I participated in my first group training run with the Steel City Road Runners–the Marathon Training Kickoff run. I’m doing the half at Pittsburgh this year, because I have a score to settle and honestly, I prefer the half to the full. I prefer to train for a full during the heat of the summer and end up rewarded with cooler temps on race day than vice versa. But I’m planning to run an ultra (and potentially now a full) in June, so doing the full marathon training makes way more sense. It was cold, and awful, and my pace SUCKED, but I got the miles done and had a good time. More group runs are in my future, for sure.

This weekend I did the Chilly Cheeks 5-miler up in Hermitage. Again, cold, which seems to be affecting my pace more than I want it to (and more than I want to admit it does). It wasn’t a tough course, but it *felt* tough. And my time was about a minute slower than the 5-miler I did in November, but when put in perspective of the fact it was significantly colder, I can accept it. Lots of work to do to hit my time goals, but I’m not starting off from a bad place.

Week is off to a solid start. Happy Monday, friends.

Focus…

I’ve been struggling this week, hard core. Last month I decided to change things up in my routine to take my training and running to the next level. I started doing Insanity. I’ve never been a big home-workout fan. The last time I did a DVD-style home workout religiously was when I did the original Tae Bo VHS tapes in college. That was also the last time I can say I *liked* a trainer on a DVD series (I can’t stand Billy Blanks in his newer stuff, he got really annoying once people knew who he was). Before that it was Richard Simmons and Mary Lou Retton on VHS tapes from my childhood. But recently? Can’t stand DVD trainers. Even the ones I like under other circumstances, I downright loathe when I’m working out with them. I’ll swear at them, half-ass the workout (because I’m by myself so there’s zero accountability), look at them like they’re crazy and refuse to even try some of the moves. So you can see why committing to something like Insanity was a stretch for me. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go. I was extremely skeptical, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about this particular program, and I’ve been intimidated by it forever (did you know it’s labeled as Advanced?) so I decided to take the plunge.

I love it. I actually LOVE it. Shaun T not only doesn’t annoy me, but I like him. I haven’t yet encountered a move I can’t at least sort of do (might happen in the second phase, but so far so good). I push myself–some days more than others, but such is life–and I legit like the workouts. So overall, I’m happy with my decision to do it.

So why the struggle? Because I’m nearly 4 weeks in and I’m not seeing the physical changes I wanted and expected. I’m tracking my food. I’m working out twice a day most days of the week. The scale isn’t budging and I see no changes in the mirror. Overtraining? Perhaps, but I feel largely energized by my workouts on the whole. I’m enjoying them. I took it a little easier this week because I was feeling a little run down, but I *missed* the workouts I cut. My body feels good and not tired, run of the mill soreness fades quickly–I’ve been pounding BCAAs but I’ve not needed Ibuprofen or anything more than once or twice in the past month. Food’s been pretty good as well. Mostly protein and fats, moderate carbs. I try to balance my calorie intake against my activity so I’m running a deficit but not too much. There are definitely things I can tweak, but I should be seeing some kind of progress. I’m working my ass off but yet it’s still firmly intact.

I broke down earlier this week. What’s the point? I’m doing all of this and it feels like it’s for nothing and I’m getting nowhere. I had a full out meltdown and pity party the other day. But I did my workout. Pouted some more. And went to bed. Sleep really is the human reset button, because when I woke up my perspective had shifted. I’m looking at this all wrong. Yes, I want to get back to my racing weight, but ultimately my performance goals matter more than that. I’m showing marked improvement on the FitTest that is part of the Insanity program. My running is still improving. I feel good, I feel tighter and leaner and stronger–even if I don’t see it. I need to focus on the process and just keep pushing forward. Results will come if I keep doing the right things. And ultimately I like the process. I *like* working out and pushing myself physically. It’s never for nothing, even if the results I get are not what I expect.

Looking forward to seeing how this plays out in my race tomorrow.

Keep pressing forward, friends.

Catching Up: 2016 recap and 2017 goals

The worst thing about taking a hiatus from blogging–whether intentional or not, but especially if it’s not–is coming back and feeling like you have so much to catch up on, and so much to talk about. This was definitely an unintentional break. I got busy with the holidays and morning workouts have edged out the time I used to use for writing and I just never made the point to do it. I’ve thought about it a lot, I have a list of things I want to get caught up on and talk about, bits and pieces of podcasts that have made me think “blog post!” but nothing has come to fruition. So, new year, time to buckle down and make this blog thing happen again. I’m not going to try to do a massive post to catch up on everything, I’m going to try to break it down in to several posts over at least the next week so it’s not a massive brain dump and I can do each thing proper justice.

First things first, then I’ll backtrack some (if you want to call it that)…2016 year in review and goals for 2017.

I ran 18 races in 2016, the most I’ve ever done, edging out my previous record of 16 races in 2013. I definitely didn’t love running, or 5ks, when I set the goal to do a race a month in 2016, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with running again and learned to love 5ks as well. I started the year basically half-assing and doing the races for the sake of doing them, but after some soul searching and gentle nudging from a friend I started to actually *run* again. And I came back stronger and faster and I just want more.

Which brings me to my goals for 2017…

-PR at the Pittsburgh Half Marathon (I have a specific time goal that I’m not keen to share just yet…)

-Run a sub-30 minute 5k

-PR 50k time

-PR ultra distance

-PR at a fall full marathon TBD (again, I have a time goal, but I’m not keen to share it yet…)

-Press 16kg bell 5x each side

-Get back to racing weight and maintain within 5lbs

-Volunteer for a race

Serious goals. Steep ones, especially if you knew the time goals I’ve set for myself. But not impossible or unobtainable. I talked about Beast Mode last year, but my training this year pales in comparison to what I thought was Beast Mode then. I’ll share more about my training plan soon (because, accountability) but for me it boils down to what I’ve decided on for my word of the year:

Self-discipline: the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.

This is my focus, and will be the key to achieving my goals. In some respects I am very disciplined (working out, going to bed on time), in others I’m not nearly as disciplined as I should be (diet, stretching/foam rolling, drinking water). And developing and improving that consistency with self-discipline will be necessary.

I turn 35 next month. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be an athlete when I turned 35. But I am and it’s time for me to act like it. The best is yet to come.