Last week was the first week of my newly revised training program. I did all but one workout–my strength session on Friday fell victim to a crappy day at work, though I was keyed up, by the time I got home my mental capacity for anything was just gone. Overall my runs were pretty solid though, so I’ll take it.
I’ve been in a weird place. Not really feeling like myself. And I guess with the pandemic and everything else going on in life that’s not unusual and should be expected. I’m on the cusp of starting over. New job. Rebuilding myself as an athlete. Impending divorce and move. Everything in my life is getting shaken up all at once, so my compass being a little off is to be expected. It has wreaked it’s fair share of havoc, though. And somewhere in this past week or so, some things have clicked as far as me putting pieces back together and building this new life. It’s going to be a lot of hard work. A LOT of hard work. Self-discipline has never been my downfall though, confidence always has been, and that’s where I am now. In some ways, the biggest breakthrough for me this week has been realizing that I need to stop worrying about “can I do it?” and just DO IT. Do all the little things that have worked for me before. Tweak some, sure, but the magic comes from DOING. Even when it sucks. Even when I don’t want to. Even when it feels pointless and stupid. Even when it’s hard. Even when I’m not sure if I can.
I’m choosing to look at this as an opportunity to re-make myself. Keep the parts I like. Change the things I don’t. Try some new things. Get out of my box. It’s as exciting as it is terrifying, but I’m going to DO IT.
Until next time…