My intention for my Friday posts is for them to be more personal, less training focused (though I’m me, so everything kind of comes back to running eventually…). I got away from that in the past year and I think that if I’d done more of it and processed the stuff I was working through I would’ve worked through it better than keeping it under wraps and just bugging my people with it. I’m in a good place right now. Things are starting to come together. I’m absolutely LOVING my training–the increased mileage agrees with me. I’m already at 100 miles for the month and I still have a week left! I’ve had some really good, solid runs lately.
Don’t get me wrong. My anxiety is coming out to play to be sure, but it’s much easier to beat it back. Still working on my time management and getting it all done, but that’s getting better too. Working on getting back to my racing weight, and I’m making real progress in that arena as well. Social anxiety gets me still–trying to make plans with friends, things that get me out of routine stress me out. But I have enough clarity at this point that I know I’m overreacting, that I’m being unhealthy about it and I can kind of force myself through to prove it’s not such a big deal. A skipped workout isn’t that big of a deal. A dietary indulgence isn’t the end of the world. I’m trying to strike the ever elusive balance and not get too caught up in anything. In effect, that’s part of what I’m loving about this round of training–with very little emphasis on speed or pace I get to just enjoy it. My watch isn’t ruling me (funny that I upgraded when I’m obsessing over it less, but hey, cest la vie), it’s just a tool.
Things are good, and I don’t have much more to say, so I’m going to close out for now. I’ll check in again soon.