I started a post last week but couldn’t manage to finish it. It felt forced. The words weren’t coming. So I scrapped it. Last week was quite a week anyway. Ended up being off of work after Monday because of technical issues and while I hate to admit how unproductive I was with the time off, I also really needed the break.
I started seeing a new therapist. It all happened very quickly and I feel 100% that it’s the right move for me. Progress had kind of stalled with my last therapist, but now I’m ready to dig in and do some more work so this new partnership will get me there and help me work through the issues that I didn’t realize were issues.
I had a really great week of workouts. My runs early in the week were fine, but they were just fine. This weekend though was fire. And in the process, I found mine again. Did a double workout on Friday for the first time in god knows how long. A strength workout, 5 round EMOM and I pushed myself harder than I can usually muster when I’m in the home gym. I was gassed by the end of the 35 minutes and had to give myself a bit before starting my birthday run–3.9 miles to ring in my 39th year. It felt soooo good to push like that.
Saturday I had my shorter long run with the group, we did 8 miles in the AM. It was cold, but we pushed through as much as we could given that some of the sidewalks aren’t touched in the city. Slightly sore, I still felt really good. After the run I got changed and met up with some of my friends for a birthday party at my favorite spot (and one of the very few places I feel safe going right now) and they surprised me with a new running watch–the Captain Marvel Garmin I’ve been wanting! I was NOT expecting that at all. I almost missed it in the bag of other assorted goodies! I love it. It’s so pretty and does so many things and the badges! Oh the badges!
Sunday I got to play with my new watch when I went out for my second long run of the weekend, 14 miles with a couple from my crew. I was sore AF but still felt really good (until near the end when my hamstrings and calves were screaming at me, but you’ll have that). Followed the run with breakfast pizza, beverages and a fire at my friend’s house.
Somewhere in the aftermath of it all the crisis of confidence I’ve been having lifted. I’ve GOT this. All I have to do is keep doing THIS. And THIS feels right and good to me. I can’t look back at who I was–I didn’t get to that place in a healthy or sustainable way, but I can build one hell of a future if I just keep moving forward. I CAN be better than I was without going backwards.
until next time, friends…